Originally I wanted to call this Content confusion;
being comfortable in the state of confusion because it felt like it started becoming the norm in a period of my life.
The questions of “how long is it going to be like this “, to “ I'm actually okay with not knowing.” Being aware of feeling disorientation in a life I have complete control over.
Within experiencing this space, it starting to become this merry-go-round of states, elation to procrastination and so forth.
So how does doubt come into it?
If you are content with the state of confusion, how can you doubt yourself at the same time? Doubt ties into it because is adds another layer of haze in this state.
Before Photography, Before being able to express myself creatively, inner doubt became my best friend. Internally I was so unsure of myself, who I was... what I could become, If I even wanted to be successful... If I even could. So unconsciously I was used to confiding in my inner doubt/demons first before my faith/light.
It became the way, before I could see past the haze. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, vision... becomes clarity.
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